Tuesday, December 16, 2014

I want to share some thoughts of mine that were inspired by an article I read from Dean Obeidallah about facing one's own mortality. I adapted and changed it to reflect my own thoughts in view of all that has passed in the last two years of my life.

How often have I been told to 'stop and smell the roses'....and I used to explain or at least try to clarify that what others called 'working', I would regard as my passion and love for what I was doing at the time.

I still feel the same way i.e. not wasting time in sleeping too long or too much because I still have dreams to be fulfilled - though modified somewhat due to the recent events and the loss of my husband.

From the time that my husband was diagnosed with terminal cancer to the hour when he actually left this life, I did not realize how much more we could have LIVED life. His death has had a profound impact on me. I am no longer finding excuses to cut short a telephone conversation with a friend or my own children and I am actually taking real time out to talk to my beautiful cat Arabella.

I will never be able to stop completely to smell ALL the roses because after all, I inherited my parents' work ethics being German but there is no more impatience. Well, at least not most of the time. also because my own health has not been great (see previous posts re. hip replacements, back fracture and my most recent adventure with scabies. I would not wish that part on my worst enemy.

How did I catch 'scabies'? Well, the hospital where my husband spent his last months, had an outbreak but of course I was unaware of it. Thankfully and almost four months later, I am slowly recovering but it has been a horrible experience and the recovery will take time.

In the meantime the clock next to me is ticking away and I am aware of time slipping by. Yet the desire to paint or knit or design is reduced for now. Also because amongst other things I have developed carpel tunnel syndrome in my left hand and it stops me from picking up any kind of knitting or work that would involve using both hands (except for typing here on the keyboard.....).

Thank you all for your constant caring and