Wednesday, September 18, 2013

somewhere today I listened to a pastor talking about gratitude and
 finding it in the most distressing circumstances. Let your choice
 be gratitude even if you are confronted with death in any way.
So he said. Well, today is the beginning of a 'new life' for my family.
We have just had some devastating news concerning my husband's
health or ill health and it could not really be worse. I fail to find gratitude.
 Not even a tiny bit of it. This year has been a lousy one all starting off
 in January with a very bad fall when I broke my lower vertebraes and
 could not move for months. And slowly, as I was recovering, I was told
 that I needed major surgery. My third one replacing my left hip called a
 'revision'. I am still recovering though it's not a fast recovery this time.
My surgeon is now sending me to rehab to improve the movement of the
 joint. And if that is not enough, yesterday topped it all. And I definitely
do not feel grateful. I feel angry just like I did when I had my first child.
A son. And lost him. The same kind of anger. And yet there are millions
 of people out there that are far worse off. I know that. I don't need to be
 told it and it does not make me feel better. Whining and kicking makes
me feel better though the kicking part might be rather impossible since I
 can't kick with my leg right now.....
anyway, I felt like venting and just hope you understand.

Saturday, September 14, 2013

Dear friends have been very encouraging, helping me to find my 'mojo'... 
To post when I have no artwork to show . . .
No travel details to share . . .
No clever stories of family or garden.

So today I just write! or pretend to write. It helped to find an article about
 being an introvert. It's what I called myself sometime ago but it was disputed
 and consequently made me think about my assumption. Here is what Carol
Bainbridge wrote:

"....Contrary to what most people think, an introvert is not simply a person who
 is shy. In fact, being shy has little to do with being an introvert! Basically, an
introvert is a person who is energized by being alone and whose energy is drained
 by being around other people. Introverts are more concerned with the inner world
 of the mind. They enjoy thinking, exploring their thoughts and feelings. They
 often avoid social situations because being around people drains their energy.
This is true even if they have good social skills. After being with people for any
length of time, such as at a party, they need time alone to "recharge."........"

This sounds a lot like me when after having been together with people, I am
 quite happy going back home either to regain my energy or simply wanting
time to be with my own thoughts. I am simply being more introspective. Being introspective, though, does not mean that an introvert never has conversations. However, those conversations are generally about ideas and concepts, not
about what they consider the trivial matters of social small talk.
And this, in a nutshell, IS ME. I love my own company. But after many weeks, months, I am tired of being an introvert. And I am definitely glad that I created
this blog so at least I can chat when I feel like doing so and retreat into my shell
 when I feel overwhelmed.