Thursday, March 28, 2013

Everything has a silver lining

Amidst the chaos of my life right now it feels just right looking at this page and bringing back sweet memories of one of the trips I made.

they say 'when it rains, it pours'.....and my life seems to be destined to flood at times. I wonder if someone up there is trying to tell me something? My husband was admitted to the hospital Monday evening after the family doctor had ordered him to check in at the ER. His sodium levels were dangerously low. And we do know that a family physician doesn't normally make calls to his patients unless it's urgent. Yesterday I took a taxi (the car is still in the ER parking lot) and against all odds I managed to walk down those long corridors in the new hospital without sitting down. See, that's great, isn't it? if I had not gone to the hospital, I would not know that I can do it and the fact that I did made me very proud and glad. Everything has a silver lining. I feel more sure of myself again, less fragile. I did it. I walked a loooong walk down a very long corridor. It's wonderful to feel that sense of independence coming back.

Sunday, March 24, 2013

towards a dream

this digital page was created by me a few weeks or months ago...I guess in my dream I am walking over hills and valleys without any pain in my hips or back. Then again, I better not complain because I am walking though with tremendous pain and rather slow. On the other hand, just thinking back on how I was/felt two months ago, it makes me marvel how far I have come.


Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Day 59 after the accident and I am still quite happy not sitting behind the computer eight or ten hours every single day. Passion is a wonderful trait to follow but perhaps I was also obsessed with finishing a project I had started years ago. The project is finished (writing my biography) and I am now 'wasting' time painting and doing other stuff I love doing. Not feeling great put a dent into my day and even though life has improved, I am far from being back to normal. Went out the other day for the second time in eight weeks (a much needed check-up at the doctor's) and then straight back home.
 (below two of my digital art pages I created. Aren't they adorable?????



Sunday, March 17, 2013

remember, I started a journal about our trip to Venice? well, it's done.
 Almost. I still need to finish it here and there, but for now I put it aside
 because I started a journal for Victoria, my little granddaughter. Just for
 fun and I got tired of having all her notes and letters to me flying around
 in a folder. When it's organized inside a journal, people do pick it up
 and look at it......I also love using my hands and find playing around
with paints and glues is very satisfying. (below just a few pages, I
 finished 100 pages with all our photos and bits and was
 fun, thanks to Diane without whom I would never have started this
 in the first place and Mary Ann Moss.
And yes, that's me standing there among the tourists pretending
I am not one....and it's not us sitting there though we did have an
amazing gelato in the cafe right there....










Wednesday, March 6, 2013

DAY 46

Day 46 (almost seven weeks):
I toddled to the Mall yesterday afternoon. Getting into the car was a bit of a trial but yessss, we managed. Had a coffee sitting down gingerly on one of those padded benches and even went to look for a handbag but was too nervous with pain and could not make up my mind. Still, I did what I came to do and felt satisfied. Funny thing though: I am not really sure if I want to drive a car...though I love driving and hopefully also that part of me will come back. The one thing I miss most is my passion for creativity. It's just not there - yet.

Today it has been eight years since I lost my beloved mother. I still miss her so much and will probably feel this way now forever. She was my best friend and ally and we were very close in the last twelve years of her life.

Monday, March 4, 2013

six weeks in bed has given me plenty of time to think about life. And it has made me appreciate real friends and family. Someone that is there for me when I need it the most. My children  have their own lives to live but one does wonder if a ten minute phone call cannot be squeezed into an otherwise busy daily agenda. Reflection on this particular subject produces a deep hurt, because I was raised with different ideals and beliefs. Now I have learnt not to expect much of anything.

My accident was a blessing in a way because it changed my lifestyle - at least for now or for the time being. I had spent far too many hours on the computer, almost obsessed with creating something, either digital artwork or be totally honest, I spent a minimum of at least 9 or 10 hours every single day on the laptop. Now that part has changed. The passion to create is still very much there and with each day that I feel better it is returning more and more and I find myself going back to creating something - but not so much with the computer right now.

below, a layout that I thought would be quite appropriate..... (created before I had
this fall/accident in the bathroom...)